Archive for the ‘Grieving After a Loss’ Category
Grieving a loss
Grieving can be very different for everyone. It is as individual as you are, and you will grieve differently from your friends and even your close family members. It is also not just common among adults, but very small children can grieve as well. Grief is an emotional, physical and spiritual response to a death or a loss in your life. Grief hurts, but is is a necessary response to loss, change or disappointment. It is very natural and highly individual. Each time you grieve for someone or some loss in your life, it may be different. Your current grief will be influenced by your age, your religious beliefs, previous experiences and your relationship to the person or pet you have just lost. The age and circumstances of the deceased will also influence how you grieve.
When death or a loss turns your world upside down, grief is the process necessary to help you put it all back together again. There are many symptoms to grief, and you may experience them differently with each loss in your life. Sometimes we don’t grieve over a loss of another person as intensely as we grieve over the loss of a beloved pet. Some people describe grief happening in stages, but it may also feel more like “waves” or cycles that come and go depending on what you are doing at this time of your life.
The grieving process takes time and the healing process happens slowly and gradually. Allow yourself time to heal and don’t be critical of yourself. Create a personal tribute or a Pet Memorial to your lost loved one. Include in it your feelings, the things you did together and the time you shared with one another.
Grieving over a Pet?
Unless you have been a pet owner and have had a deep relationship with a 4-legged furchild, you may not understand the depth of grieving that can take place when this companion animal passes on. Unfortunately, this is very common and many of our friends and family members will not understand what we are going through when we grieve for a pet. Many who don’t understand us fully have never had this bond and do not appreciate the companionship and unconditional love a pet can provide us.
In order to grieve this pet fully, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. That doesn’t mean arguing with others about whether or not your grief is appropriate (they’ll never understand anyway) but rather accept the fact that you may find your best emotional support for your grief from others outside your usual circle of family and friends. You may want to seek out others who have also lost companion animals, join a Pet Loss support group, or find others who will appreciate the magnitude of your loss and can help suggest ways to help you get through the grieving process.
Creating a Pet Memorial can help put your feelings into words and aid in the healing of a loss of a beloved pet.
Grieving and Depression
It is very natural to feel depressed and in pain after losing a beloved pet. Feelings of sadness after such a death are much like a wounded animal’s instinct to withdraw, find a safe spot and lick their wounds. Such emotions can be an indicator that your usual notions of faith and reality have been shattered. This can lead to deep questions about the meaning of different aspects of your life, and also of impending death. These feelings of sadness can also be an indicator that you need to slow down, take some “me” time and allow yourself to heal. You need to put yourself in touch with your feelings, and find a way when it is time, to move on with life.
While feelings of sadness after death of a loved one, whether 2-legged or 4-legged, are very real and normal, actual clinical depression is not. If your feelings of depression and helplessness continue for a long periond of time and you are not able to return to normal activities, you need to seek help. You should consider visiting with a trained therapist, or with your clergy person. There is nothing wrong with seeking and accepting help to overcome such grief. It is very common and can help y0u to heal faster.
When looking for a Pet Casket to properly intern your furry loved one, find one that fits the personality and size of your lost pet.
How do I Grieve?
Grieving is unique to every person. We all experience grief in our own way and in our own time. Do not expect that each grieving process will be the same, each loss may be uniquely different than the last one.
Fortunately we have the ability to cry, to wonder, to tell stories of our lost loved ones – and also to even get angry. We also have the ability to reach out to others who have also gone through the grieving experience. The more you use these abilities, the easier it will be to find meaning in our loss. Here are some questions to consider when you are trying to navigate through the grieving process:
How do you individually cope with loss and grief? What have you learned from past losses or from others who have gone through it?
What has helped you or others get through a loss gracefully? What kind of support will help you deal with this loss now and in the future?
Here are some suggestions that may help you deal with grief: 1. Pay attention to your feelings. Write them down in a journal or talk them over with a friend. 2. Don’t assume your current grief will be like the previous ones. You grow with each experience – so you are not the same person now. 3. Create something – art, poetry, or music to express your feelings. 4. Get out and get moving. Walk, run, dance – anything to get your body going and lift your spirits. 5. Spend time with friends who have been through similar experiences. Find a pet loss support group, go out with friends, go to lunch with an old buddy, or visit with your therapist or clergyman. Grief is unique to each person and how succesfully we deal with it depends on how willing we are to feel it and work through it. If you try to repress your feelings, it will make the grieving process longer and more painful.
Pet Cremation Urns are a personal way to say “Good-bye” to your lost loved one.
Creating Fond Memories
It may come to as a surprise to you that you have such a deep bond with your pet. You may have been aware, but not mindful of the many wonderful gifts and memories that your companion animal has brought into your life. For many of us, the loss of our pet is the loss of a family member, one of our “children’ if you will. As you experience this grief and sadness, take the time to consider your pet’s special place in your heart. Remembering the special times you had together can help you to heal the wounds of loss. You may want to ask yourself these questions:
How did my pet come into my life? What types of activities did we enjoy together? What important life’s challenges did my pet help me to endure? How did our time together make me feel?
For many of us, pets provide an unwavering source of love, affection and companionship. Create a Personalized Pet Memorial to pay tribute to your fondest friend. You may want to make a special place in your home where you display photos, toys and mementos of your companion animal.
Grieving the Loss of Your Pet
Most pet owners consider their pets to be fur children or members of the family – not just an animal. At least half of pet owners actually spend more time taking their pets to the vet than going to the doctor themselves. We are also more likely to remember the names of our neighbor’s pets, than the names of our neighbors.
Given this deep and intense relationship we have with our companion animals, it is no wonder the loss of our pets can bring such intense emotional pain and stress. This loss can trigger overwhelming feelings of grief, sadness and depression. You may have trouble sleeping, lose weight, feel tired all the time, and even have trouble focusing. This grieving may even take you to spiritual and emotional edges you have never experienced before, so it’s often tempting to avoid it. Yet, the more you are willing to embrace the emotions of your loss, the better equipped you will be to live and love more fully.
One huge difference between pet loss and the loss of a human, is that our friends never truly understand or appreciate it. They may ask “What’s the big deal? It’s just a pet.” There is an assumption that humans are more important than pets. But for those of us who have truly loved an animal, we can feel just as devastated, if not more, than losing a human loved one. The very things that make pets different than humans often make them more endearing. The qualities of a beloved pet are hard to match in human form. Pets give us unconditional love, they never pass judgement, and they don’t withhold companionship or give you the silent treatment. The loss of this type of companionship can be heartbreaking. Like grief for a human loss, grief for companion animals can only be dealt with over time and in different stages of grieving. Pet Urns are a wonderful way to pay tribute to your lost loved one.
Pets in Heaven?
Are there pets in heaven? I bet this is one of the most commonly asked questions among pet owners, and those who believe we go to heaven after death. I guess we really wouldn’t know for certain unless we had an out-of-body experience and went to heaven briefly and looked for ourselves. But, if you asked any pet owner with a deep love and uncanny bond with an animal, the answer would be a definite “yes”. How could you image heaven without your beloved furry companions there with you?
I’m sure there are as many opinions about what heaven is like as there are pet owners. But there is one thing most have in common – they want to see their beloved animal again and be reunited with them in heaven. If our pets bring us so much joy here an earth, and we build such deep relationships with them, then why would that change after death? I love the saying: “Pet’s aren’t our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.” I believe this is true beyond the grave as well. They help to bring out the very best in our characters and are such a welcomed addition to our lives. Like the Rainbow Bridge Poem so eloquently explains, we will be reunited again.
Telling Young Children
As a parent, one of the most challenging things you will ever do is try to explain to a young child that his/her pet has or is going to die. Here are some helpful suggestions:
1. Offer age-appropriate honest explanations. Don’t try to distort or hide the truth to protect them from grief. It will make it worse, and they need to trust you right now.
2. Make sure they know it was not something that they did or or failed to do that caused the pet to die.
3. Help them understand that death is not the same as sleeping. It can trigger sleep problems and intense anxiety over surgery and anesthesia.
4. Don’t use the terms “Passed away”, “left us” or “gone on”. This can leave children feeling abondoned and rejected, waiting for the pet’s return and may even encourage them to go looking for their lost pet.
5. Explain “Old Age” and what happens when a pet gets old. That his body wears out and stops working.
6. With especially young children, avoid telling them that God wanted their pet in Heaven because it was so special. This could make the child angry with God and fear that he or you may be chosen next.
Let the children in your family be a part in making decisions about how you will intern your lost loved one, and in choosing a proper Pet Memorial to celebrate the life you spent together.
Honor the Memory
To properly memorialize our beloved companion animals, is to honor and acknowledge the important role they played in our lives. It is to bring comfort to ourselves and others, and to help keep their love and presence in our hearts.
There are many ways we can memorialize our pets. We can write about them in a journal, or make a scrapbook or photo album full of pictures of them and the things we did together.
We can plant a living memorial in their honor, even if it is only in the backyard. We can have a meaningful memorial service, funeral or ritual – simple or elaborate in nature. Or we can simply make a donation to a charitable animal organization in our pet’s name.
Each person, each family, will honor the life of their pet in theri own personal way. One way to keep your lost loved one close to your heart is by putting your pet’s ashes in a beautiful piece of Pet Memorial Jewelry.
Bonds with Companion Animals
The human-animal bond is much stronger than most people can describe in words. It goes way beyond the life you have spent together, and is usually much stronger than any human bond you have experienced – except perhaps with a child.
How attached we become to our animals is as individual as we are, but the deep bonds we develop are vailid, worthy of understanding and explain the intense pain we feel when our beloved pet is gone.
When a cherished companion animal is taken from you, take some time to think about and remember how closely you were attached to one another. It is only after we identify how much our friends mean to us and recognize how much we’ve lost, can we begin to understand why pet loss hurts so much. A Dog Cremation Urn is an appropriate, personal way to memorialize your lost loved one.